Letter To Teen Me...

I was given this idea when I received an email from an author whose newsletter I am signed onto. Given, this post was supposed to be written on the 11th, I had a busy past 10 days dealing with work, lost luggage, planning for parties, and a Grandmother who was in the hospital. Whatever, it's here now!

Dear Teen Me,

It's okay to be different...like vastly different from your peers. I'm sorry I'm telling you this about 10 years too late but I didn't know it back then. You definitely should've dyed your hair the colors of the rainbow and embraced ripped up jeans and Converses instead of high heels and dark brown hair. You didn't have to change that because nothing was wrong with it.

It's okay to be into bands instead of rappers even though no one made you feel like it was (but I'm glad you met someone who did!). Liking rock music and being deemed as "emo" doesn't mean you abandoned your culture even though that's what they told you. I really digged the dark eyeliner and bright red hair...it was so...YOU!

No one had to understand you because you weren't meant to be understood. You were meant to be free and different. Your views matter and just because family and "friends" didn't share the same ones didn't make you wrong. You never had to fake what music you liked or the slang you couldn't speak. There's nothing wrong with saying "rad" or "awesome", it didn't make you any less black...it made you, you and you're pretty cool to me.

I only wish I told you this back then but I'm telling you now. Go ahead and be who you are. I love it. I finally love you.

Love,

24 Year Old You

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I'm The One That's Got To Die, So Let Me Live!

"Whatever it is that you do, you should do
You should do it with your head held high
So when you're doing your thing it's 'cause you wanna
And they never can ask you why"-
Pink (Do What You Do)

The legendary Jimi Hendrix once said, "I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” For some reason people don't understand what he was saying. I mean, it's pretty self explanatory so why is it that people are still clutching their chests as if they're about to have a heart attack over someone's decision? Why are people still judging others in this day and age? 

What I have come to find in my short lifetime is that usually the judgmental ones are the biggest hypocrites. Those self righteous individuals wouldn't know true righteousness if it was crammed down their throats. I'm tired of living in a time where people get judged based on their looks. The world teaches us that looks aren't everything yet everyone is so quick to judge someone because they present themselves in a different way than most. 

I had an incredible English teacher when I was in high school. Her name is Mrs. Sullivan and she taught us the most important lesson anyone could ever give another. She taught us to never conform and to never be like anyone else or falter to society's "rules" and "standards". She taught me how to be an individual and think for myself and forget who is talking or watching. This lesson has set me free. 

Conformity binds us. That old saying, "if you can't beat them, join them," is lethal to the soul. It's basically telling you to kill who you are and just fit in and shut up. Never shut up! People have these misconstrued ideas and logic on what someone should be like because of their title. Am I supposed to be like you because we identify with the same group? NO! Open your eyes and see that I am an individual and I shouldn't be expected to do something because you think it's right. We need to start standing up for ourselves.

What do you see when you look at me? Chances are, you probably got me all wrong. Do you want to know what I stand for? What I represent? How about you ask me? Maybe you should have a chat with me over lunch to hear what I believe in or what I am passionate about. Truth is you know nothing about my struggles so you can't possibly know me or even have an idea about me until you actually get to know me. This goes for everyone. We all have different looks, personalities, and ways of expression and we should be free to show this without being prejudged.

Want to know who I am? I'm a girl who believes in feminism and equal rights for all. I advocate for those who suffer from mental illnesses and I will always encourage people to be whoever they want. I like short dresses and tight fitting clothes because I believe a woman's body is her own and it is her choice to do whatever she wants with it. She should embrace it and love it whether it is privately or publicly. I'm an animal lover and will help someone at the drop of a dime as long as I have the means. I stand up for my friends and will probably take a bullet for my dog. I'm really shy upon first meeting and a lot of people mistake this for weakness. I support those I believe in and loyalty goes a long way with me. I obsess over crazy hair color and I like rocking out to rock music in my room alone. You probably didn't see half of these things when you looked at me.

If you want to judge someone based on what you see on the outside, then go ahead! It's probably your loss anyway. That person that you judge is probably one of the most amazing people you would ever come to know. If you are the one being judged, then I say to you do not change for anyone or anything. It's like what Kacey Musgraves said, "just 'cause you can't beat them, don't mean you should join them!"

Don't Break the Mold, MAKE the Mold-I AM THAT GIRL

Here is the link to my first blog post for the female empowerment organization, I AM THAT GIRL! The organization is founded on the belief that women are important and should be inspired everyday. The title of the post is "Don't Break the Mold, MAKE the Mold!" Click the link below to take a look! Also visit their website at www.iamthatgirl.com to take the pledge and receive newsletters. Be inspired!

Don't Break the Mold, MAKE the Mold!

Who Am I?

"I'm far too loud; it's like, as soon as I've got an opinion it just has to come out. I laugh at stupid things just 'cause they tickle me. Sometimes I wish I was like __________. She got some prittstick and she glued her lips together, so she never had to speak..."

"...But by then it's too late, no one wants to know me." Does anyone else feel like no one around them knows anything about them except for a few shallow things? Isn't it scary once you realize that no one at all really knows who you are? Have you ever felt like you're worth was equivalent to a brick wall?

I don't know about you but I would like to feel like something. I would like everyone around me to know who I really am and what I have to offer. Early this morning I was sitting in my car and thinking about all of the amazing people I know and I felt like I wasn't even on the list. All of my female friends are...different from me. Why couldn't I be more like __________ and let my reserved demeanor do the speaking for me? How come my personality doesn't shine like __________? I should definitely be more talented and caring like _________ and ___________. Why don't I possess these simple yet so out of reach personality traits?

Was it how I was raised or is it in my genes? It can't be how I was raised because I lack the charisma I was taught to have and my mouth is usually quicker than my mind. Plus, everyone else in my family took everything that I lack before I came into the picture. Before I continue, does anyone else have this problem? If not, stop right here and leave...you no longer need to read anymore...unless you want to.

Some may say a remedy for this feeling is to list three good traits about yourself. I actually tried doing this and it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I couldn't even think of one on my own...but nonetheless you should try it anyway...maybe it'll help. Or maybe what would really help is knowing that you are who you are and no matter what you do, you probably can't change that so you should just embrace it.

I'm awkward, shy, quiet, insecure, loud (sometimes), introspective, funny, opinionated yet indifferent to almost everything, confused, and a bunch of other things that I haven't discovered yet. I'm still not sure if I like the description of myself or if it's even accurate but I guess in the end it probably doesn't matter because I am what I am and people would have to accept it (or not!) anyway.

I seem shallow on the outside but I have a lot of depth and inner emotions. Hardly anyone ever gets to see this side of me because I'm covering it up with something else...usually it's insecurity, mystery, or me just being plain obnoxious...depending on who you are. For some reason, today it bothers me that no one ever really got the chance to know me. Maybe my worth isn't equivalent to a brick wall; my worth is hidden behind a brick wall that only a few people had the balls to knock down...or maybe I just think too much.

Sometimes I wish I was more like myself...